In C & S church , a leader or Spiritual head must be a husband of one wife not a husband of three or more wifes. This is the foundation of C & S church.

Here is what Apostle Paul wrote to Timothy.

1 Timothy 3:2

Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach.

He must be husband of one wife!

The phrase “husband of one wife” is literally “one woman man.” It is difficult to draw anything else from the construction of this phrase other than that the potential Elder/Deacon must not be currently committed to more than one wife.

Essentially, the purest textual meaning of the phrase is that it is a command against polygamy. To engage in a lifestyle of multiple marital commitments would forfeit a potential Elder or Deacon’s privilege to lead the church in an official capacity.

The obvious question becomes: How does one have two (or more) wives? What constitutes polygamy?

Polygamy is any unbiblical union of a man or woman while there is already an existing marriage covenant. For instance, to secretly marry one woman while you are legally and scripturally bound to another one would constitute polygamy. But so would leaving your spouse for unbiblical reasons and marrying someone else, even if there was a culturally legal divorce. In other words, divorce and remarriage outside the boundaries established in the Bible may, at times and under certain circumstances, result in a polygamous lifestyle.

A church leader who can't control his children , how will he control the church? I have seen church leader that will fight his wife and church members will be settling fight for them, wait how will they respect God in his life? Your children won't come to service yet you're bitter that other members children didn't come, have you controlled those in your house hold?

The idea of being “tested” (3:10) also gives us room to see how well they have done in the past. While we don’t single out the marriage issue, it is just one of the many things examined to see if the potential Leader is already living the lifestyle described in I Timothy 3. If he has had recent problems in being committed to one woman (i.e., an unbiblical divorce, an adulterous relationship, etc.), it would be wise to at least delay his appointment to church leadership till these matters have proven themselves extinct or till reconciliation/resolution has been achieved.

“Beyond reproach” and “blameless” indicate even further that a lifestyle at which no one can point a finger is the high goal of church leadership. While this phrase encompasses more than just the issue of divorce and remarriage, it definitely includes this matter. If others in the community react negatively, though honestly and sincerely, to our church and its message as a result of a divorce/affair by a potential candidate for Leader, the potential Leader should decline his opportunity to lead the church in an official manner.

For ministry to extend beyond one's family it must first be established within one's family. So get your kids grounded and walking with the Lord. Whatever you want to do in ministry, do with your kids! Lead them in worship. Serve them communion. Preach, teach and devote with them. You will never regret investing such time and ministry in them.

Notice the penetrating question Paul asks: "If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?" The word translated "take care of" is the same verb used of the Good Samaritan who "took care of" the poor man he found on the road. It means to "assume personal responsibility for the care of another person." 

That’s what a father is to do for his family.

 As the head of the home, God holds him responsible for his wife and children. He’s got to answer to God someday for what happens to them. If a man fails at that great task, how can we dare to give him a leadership position in the local church?

So the home is the church in miniature and the birthplace of budding spiritual leaders. Habits formed there last forever. Principles imparted

Lastly, if you go to any C & S church and the leader in charge gave you a vision that you're his second wife or third wife, just know it is a lie from hell! A leader that already have a wife is not meant to have more than one wife. He just want to sleep with you. Even if he plan to marry you, it is not scriptural. it is againt our church doctrine , so know that such people are not part of us at all.

So many church have been habitation of rebellion when the church is divided into two. since the leader have two wife, when they fight, some will support first wife , while some will support second wife and they will start taking sides , spreading rumours. This is not the kind of Church God wants and it's not the template of C & S church. if you see anyone practicing such, they're not one of us.

God will help us in Jesus name

𝑩𝒆𝒍𝒐𝒘 𝒊𝒔 𝒂 𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒌 𝒕𝒐 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝑺𝒐𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒍 𝑴𝒆𝒅𝒊𝒂

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